the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
