You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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