Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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