I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
