Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
