I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
