Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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