Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
