I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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