Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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