Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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