my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
