I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
