Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
