if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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