He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
