They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You've changed since you got that strap on
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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