When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
