Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
