Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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