Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
