I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
