So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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