Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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