That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
