Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize