Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
