I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
