Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
