Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
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A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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