i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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