you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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