so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
