We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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