Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
