I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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