He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
