Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
