There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
