guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
