I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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