ADVERTISEMENT

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial

  Fav 6 1814 857

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.

  Fav 25 2322 835

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..

  Fav 28 1506 6162

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same

  Fav 39 1356 5815

  share tweet
  
• 

  29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (631): View more from New York

  I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.

  Fav 27 4742 924

  share tweet
  

• (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't know where I am but there are firefighters

  Fav 18 6692 1376

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila

  Fav 17 4028 1509

  share tweet
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had

  Fav 12 4359 1756

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.

  Fav 9 3541 1377

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.

  Fav 10 2155 883

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Your word choices worry me.

  Fav 5 916 672

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (256): View more from Alabama

  We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville

  Fav 2 764 383

  share tweet
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations

  Fav 0 81 139

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need to get me chipped asap

  Fav 0 71 10

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?

  Fav 3 17 24

  share tweet
  

Randomize