I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making