Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one. http://tfl.nu/ahi8
  Replies (24) Good night (3949) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/ox60
  Replies (72) Good night (10057) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): 96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks http://tfl.nu/s1i2
  Replies (12) Good night (4821) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this? http://tfl.nu/pvqp
  Replies (43) Good night (4695) Bad night (2237)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/42ye
  Replies (6) Good night (4338) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere http://tfl.nu/b03s
  Replies (10) Good night (3358) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home. http://tfl.nu/pssh
  Replies (35) Good night (2313) Bad night (1316)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now. http://tfl.nu/mmi9
  Replies (1) Good night (1309) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how http://tfl.nu/4odx
  Replies (18) Good night (1308) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train. http://tfl.nu/hytn
  Replies (4) Good night (845) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list. http://tfl.nu/q5hw
  Replies (8) Good night (343) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (473): View more from Grenada-Carib

  She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (473): She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?! http://tfl.nu/amuq
  Replies (5) Good night (459) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know? http://tfl.nu/ulgs
  Replies (3) Good night (528) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room http://tfl.nu/htix
  Replies (0) Good night (279) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick http://tfl.nu/45q6
  Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (249)

Randomize