matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
