I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole