Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.

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(303): View more from Colorado

it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol

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(913): View more from Kansas

come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(618): View more from Illinois

was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?

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(480): View more from Arizona

I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet

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(850): View more from Florida

Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Okay we're getting vodka and coming

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt

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(740): View more from Ohio

I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.

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