Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.