the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
