Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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