I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
