I wanna bring you to show and tell
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
