sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
