Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
