You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
