I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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