After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize