i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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