doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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