im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
