Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
