I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
