hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
