Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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