i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
