I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
