I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i would punch a child for taco bell
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize