Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
