Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
