This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
