Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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