The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
